Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Obsessive Cinematic Disorder: Traffic Stop Cameos

You might be asking yourself, “Surely there can’t be multiple instances of actors appearing as officers stopping drivers for traffic violations?” Prepare to have your mind blown (respectfully, with mind breakfast afterwards).

Although with that being said, I’m still a little amazed at all of these cameos. What is it about sticking a famous actor in the role of a highway officer?

Join me as I take a look at some of these faux cops.

Tim Blake Nelson Stops Fockers for Speeding

Our first example - from the underwhelming sequel Meet the Fockers - is pretty standard. Ben Stiller and Dustin Hoffman are trying to chase down Robert De Niro when actor/director/Hulk villain Tim Blake Nelson drops in to arrest just about everyone.



He’s got a rubber boobie, indeed.

Michael McKean Stops Steve Martin and John Candy for Driving a Melted Car

McKean shows up to chastise John Candy and Steve Martin for their burnt out car in Planes, Trains and Automobiles. Is there a better excuse for speeding than a melted speedometer?



Poor Steve Martin. All he wanted to do is get home to his family. At least the radio works, Officer McKean!

Gary Busey Stops Johnny Depp for Speeding

How do you make Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas - a movie directed by Terry Gilliam about gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson’s drug fueled adventures in Vegas - even stranger? Gary Busey. Gary Busey is always the answer when you’re trying to make something stranger. The actor appears in the flick - which is chock full of cameos in general - as a highway patrolman chasing Thompson as he flees Vegas.



Towards the end of the scene, Busey ad libs a request for a kiss, and Hunter S. Thompson was supposedly “horrified” by the improvisation. I find it hard to believe that anything horrified Thompson.

Edward Norton Stops Ricky Gervais and Louis C.K. for Drunk Driving Food Poisoning

In a world where anything you say is taken as gospel, lying to the cops would probably be one of the most satisfying activities around. Edward Norton proves this in The Invention of Lying.



Not only does Norton believe everything Ricky Gervais says, he's brutally honest. Who knew violence arouses cops?

Robert Patrick Stops Mike Myers in Pursuit of a Child Savior

This is it. Wayne vs. the T-1000. Aurora's finest vs. a mimetic poly-alloy killing machine.

The last person you want to be pulled over by is the T-1000 and Mr. Campbell learns this the hard way in Wayne’s World. That icy attitude and all that sleek metal. Schwing!


Chilling how Patrick takes off after the Mirthmobile on foot like that, isn’t it? I’m not sure who he's looking for - the photo doesn’t look like John Connor - but I’m going to assume that he’s another future resistance leader.

Patrick must like doing cameos as the T-1000, as the killing machine makes an appearance in another Schwarzenegger flick.

Getting pulled over can be nerve-wracking but remember, that cop or state trooper might be one of America’s sweethearts. So you might have to pay a speeding ticket, but at least you’ll have a cool story to tell.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Favorite Scene Friday! Speech Impedimentology: The College Degree that Only a Horny Old Man Can Respect

This week’s installment of Favorite Scene Friday is brought to you by the delirious psyche of Mr. Charlie Kaufman.  As some of you may know, Being John Malkovich got the Criterion upgrade with its release on Blu-ray a couple weeks ago and with that release, a loss of $30.00 hit my checking account.  That’s okay though, for such a delightfully, wacky movie, I’d have paid up to $32.00. 
The scene I chose today comes at roughly the beginning of the film and I chose it solely because I had no recollection of the scene when I put my hard earned $30.00 to proper use.  I laughed out loud, boys and girls, and we all know how wonderful that feeling is, so I thought I’d share it with you.  The best part of the scene is the dialogue alone.  I venture to admit, had I heard this scene on say, a comedian’s latest album, I’d have felt right at home.  Don’t get me wrong, both John Cusack and Orson Bean lend nothing but quality to most scenes they indulge in and their presence certainly isn’t unwelcomed here, it’s just the dialogue hit my funny bone so furiously that a grin didn’t leave my face for the remainder of the 112 minute film.
The entire movie is chock full of hilarious scenes, two of which include ‘ol Lil Miss Tiger Blood himself, Charlie Sheen, but this “Speech Impedimentology” scene was liking watching a homerun off a 3-2 pitch to the first at bat.  It’s cheesy, funny, awkward, and serious all at the same time and that just makes it delightful in my book.  I hope you kids enjoy the weekend cause I’m damn sure gonna try (Spoiler Alert:  I often succeed).  Happy Friday and remember, "Flattery will get you everywhere."



Monday, May 21, 2012

Music Video Monday! All Bow to the Empress of the North

No, I’m not referring to the much loved HBO series Game of Thrones, based on the George R. R. Martin novels, but I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Martin himself also finds a sense of solace with The Moondoggies.  Having recently picked up the album Tidelands, I can and will admit that I am now a fan.  This song, as fellow Hatcher Tiffany can attest, is hauntingly beautiful.  From the very first and last lyrics:  “I don’t expect you/to understand/what exactly/is inside a man . . .,” I was hooked.  I wish this were a legitimate excuse to give to my fiancĂ©e the next time I find myself in trouble, but I know that would be wrong.  I can’t help but to think of how I would feel if she were to feed me what I’ve fed.  It just wouldn’t be fair. 
And speaking of 'fair' here's a Fair Warning:  not the video, the song, nor the lyrics are the most uplifting in the world, but all, both separately and combined, are quite moving in their own ways.  After watching/listening for the third time in a row my appreciation for these guys has tripled.  The animation is old school and I like that about it (kinda reminds me of Wes Anderson) and you might be asking yourself why, but what better way to convey a man’s lonely heart that still yearns for the love it recently lost?  Actually, I'm full of shit, I've listened to a live performance and the song really is just about a boat.  Anywho, it’s a perfect use of the tool and I was taken upon my first viewing.  I like to think the video uses the ship as a metaphor for a love while his love’s destruction is vividly portrayed by the invading waves.  It’s so tragic yet so calming for some reason.  While the instrumentation is really nothing special, it is the lilting beat necessary for carrying the singer’s (Kevin Murphy, I believe) voice.  And it sounds great. 
Admittedly the majority of this post was written before hearing this song performed live and I was way off base with my initial take, but from that initial take came the following:  It takes a lot for a man to give his heart to whom he loves, full well knowing of the dangers that can surmount if not tiptoed along the wire that is the precious, delicate balance that binds the heart of all true love.  One fight, one storm, one tidal wave, and it could all be awash.  Food for the soul, kiddies.  Have a Happy Week.  And if you like these guys as much as I now do, click here.



Friday, May 18, 2012

Favorite Scene Friday! W.T.W.T.A.- I'll Eat You Up!


Although I like being “an adult”, now that summer is fast approaching, I often wish I could push aside the hard, sometimes cold realities of adulthood and just be a kid again.  If this wish could ever be granted, I’d probably choose the age range between 10-12 years old. It’s an age of very little worries, relatively speaking, and assuredly a time without deadlines, responsibilities, expectations and disappointments. It’s a time before I became frustrated with and cynical about much of our human race. A time when my biggest decision for the day was deciding who’s house my best friend and I were going to stay at for the night, his or mine. It was usually his house because we had a better chance of staying out for some late night rumpusing. Yes, probably like you, the adult in me instantly has dirty thoughts when I hear the word rumpus, but when the kid in me hears rumpus, he thinks about riding bikes all day, skipping rocks on a pond, lighting firecrackers and smoke bombs, spending his last dime on candy and putting pennies on the train track.

The author that brought the rumpus into my life, Maurice Sendak, passed away last Tuesday. When I heard the news, it got me thinking about my copy of his book, Where the Wild Things Are. Given to me sometime between 1972-1975, (yes you whippersnappers, I’m the elder statesman of this blog), it’s now a warped, musty, yellow and frayed book, but it’s a cherished possession of mine. Mostly because when I open it, Sendak’s words and illustrations let me know that I’m not completely cynical and numb to the good things that are still out there. It’s simple, sweet and touching just like today’s scene.

Max (Max Records) has just tamed the big eyed, terrible clawed wild things with a trick. They are so frightened that they call him, “the most wild thing of all and make him king of all wild things.” So like any rambunctious little boy, who has just been named king of all wild things, Max declares, “let the wild rumpus start!” My favorite part of today’s favorite scene is when Max stops at the edge of the cliff, looks out, howls and after almost getting bumped off the cliff, looks up at Carol (James Gandolfini). At that moment, they each know that they have a friend. I hope you have an excellent Friday and do me a favor, make sure to find some time this weekend to start a “wild rumpus!”

I apologize for just having a link. I found the scene and started my write up before I realized I couldn't embed it. However, to make up for it, I've added a deleted scene ;).

 http://youtu.be/lRUOOvFwqQc 






Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Batch o’ Hatch: Pop Culture Mysteries, Real Genius Screening/Popcorn Eating Contest, and to the escape hatch! Turns One

Since you’re probably coming down from an Avengers high, here’s a fresh Batch o’ Hatch to get the blood flowing!

Pop Culture Mysteries

*spoilers for Blade Runner, The Shining, Total Recall, The Thing and other films abound!*

The AV Club posted a great piece on pop culture mysteries last week. A few of the mysteries the site posted are ones I’ve wondered about myself, such as, is Deckard a replicant in Blade Runner and just what exactly happens in Kubrick’s The Shining?



If I were to list some other pop culture head scratchers, I’d probably throw out The Thing (I wrote a whole post about the ending of that movie here) and Total Recall. Was Quaid imagining the whole thing or was he really a secret agent?

I’d love to hear from you guys on this. Are there any pop culture mysteries you’ve always wondered about?

Real Genius Screening/Popcorn Eating Contest

Anybody who’s anybody knows that I love me some fun film-related events. Jacksonville’s own Sun-Ray Cinema is screening Real Genius at midnight on Saturday, June 2nd and they’re having a popcorn eating contest beforehand to boot. The winner gets free popcorn for life. LIFE.


Some of you younger readers may not know that Val Kilmer used to have quite the svelte figure...

to the escape hatch! Turns One

And finally, I wanted to mention that today is our one year anniversary. One year ago today we posted this announcement and totheescapehatch.blogspot.com was born.

In the past year we’ve gained readers and followers and lost the “.blogspot”.

There are many bloggers and readers out there that we owe thanks to, but I wanted to single out a few. In no particular order:

Ruth from ...let’s be splendid about this...
Alex from And So It Begins...
CT and Jeeg from Nerd Lunch
Pax from Cavalcade of Awesome
Chris from moviesandsongs365
Markus and Sir Phobos from Green People Soup
Pete from I Love That Film
Rodders from The Reviewing Rodders
The Large Association of Movie Blogs

Thanks for making our first year a memorable one! Hopefully you’ll keep coming by. Don’t forget we’re on twitter now - @2theescapehatch.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Music Video Monday! Gotye: “Somebody That I Used to Know”

It’s getting later in the evening here and you know what that means – it’s time for a sexy music video with semi-naked people.

“Somebody That I Used to Know” is a catchy ditty by Gotye, (Wouter "Wally" De Backer) a Belgian/Australian singer/songwriter. The song’s popped up on both Glee and Saturday Night Live and it’s all over the radio. 

A friend told me that the rest of Gotye’s work isn’t as great, and I need to investigate that. Even if that’s the case, there’s no denying this is a great tune. The song’s lyrics (You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness/Like resignation to the end, always the end) and Gotye’s powerful pipes make the song hard to ignore. The girl in the tune and video is New Zealand singer Kimbra.

Check out the melancholy yet artistic video for the tune below.



It must have gotten tense around 2:18. It’s always awkward bumping into your ex, especially when you’ve both camouflaged yourselves to blend in with your surroundings.

And because it’s apparently become customary with my MVMs, here’s a bonus – the SNL digital short featuring Gotye. Happy Monday!

Escape by Grabbing Some Shawarma: The Avengers

 *spoiler alert*

I find that the smaller moments in films – intimate scenes between characters that deepen the story – can make a movie, even one with a huge budget that’s based on a comic book. The Avengers has these moments in spades. Hell, between Cap and Iron Man's conversations about sacrifice and being a soldier, Thor and Loki's lamentations on war, what it means to rule, and brotherhood, and Black Widow's talks with Bruce Banner, Loki and Hawkeye, the film almost reaches Tarantino levels of dialogue.


As of this writing I've seen the film twice, and I'm very satisfied with how the story and characters came together. The film was at an advantage compared to a sister movie like X-Men – most of the main characters had already been established in their own films. But the sword is double-edged. For every iota of story or character that these stand-alone films provided, it made this final amalgamation that much riskier and more difficult to create.

One of the aspects of the film that I like the most is how director Joss Whedon and the cast and crew brought these characters together as a team. The Hulk, Thor, and Hawkeye go from attacking the rest of the Avengers to fighting alongside them. Captain America, who has a bit of a chip on his shoulder and seems out of place for most of the film, ends up commanding the team. Black Widow goes from a spy to a soldier. 

And finally, Iron Man. Not only does Tony Stark make the big sacrifice - laying down on the wire so another soldier can crawl over it, as Cap would put it - his story within the film acts as a metaphor for the rest of the team finding humanity in a way.  There's a scene where Stark lists the members of The Avengers to Loki and informs the villain that he's pissed off all of them. “You also pissed off one other person,” Stark says. “And his name was Phil.” Recall that Stark started the film off by informing Pepper that Coulson didn't have a first name other than "Agent".  

The film had some great call-backs to the earlier stand-alone Avengers films. S.H.I.E.L.D. built weapons of mass-destruction because Thor and the Destroyer leveled a small town. Nick Fury references Stark learning about The Avengers Initiative back in the first Iron Man. Cap learns that Hulk was a result of Banner trying to replicate the super solider formula (Something I was surprised to hear actually. Banner wasn't just experimenting with Gamma radiation in this version of the story?).

There's so much about this film that I love. The one-liners. Stark's nicknames for the rest of the Avengers. The unexpected fight between Thor and The Hulk. The fact that almost all of the main characters interact one-on-one with each other. The way Cap takes charge near the end of the film. The Hulk beating Loki senseless. And that final, final scene. My God that final scene. Never has munching food in silence been funnier.

My problems with the film are minor but I'd like to list them:

Where were War Machine, Odin, The Warriors Three, Lady Sif and General and Betty Ross? I guess you could argue that the final battle, while devastating and a threat to the world and beyond, sort of came out of nowhere in a way. And this was the Avengers' film after all. Still, part of me would have liked to see the cavalry called in.

What happened to Cap being the main character? If anyone was, I'd say it was Iron Man. He makes the big sacrifice and the film more or less ends with a scene featuring him. I've heard that the DVD will contain more footage, mostly of Cap, so I suspect we'll be seeing a slightly different film come home video time. Scenes near the film's end seemed to focus on a waitress that appeared to have a connection to Cap, and I wonder if there was an earlier scene in the film featuring the two of them that was cut.

And just why does The Hulk go from being a mindless monster to fighting alongside the rest of the team? I was waiting for some sort of small scene focusing on Banner that would make him more in touch with the Hulk, but we never got it. He goes from point A, trying to kill his teammates, to point C, fighting with them, skipping Point B all together.

One big complaint I heard going into the film was that it was great, but sort of "TV". I didn't really notice that much. I might see that applying to one of Whedon's earlier films (err, his only other film to date?) Serenity. I think it's plain to see that he's grown as a feature-film director. 

I mentioned that I like smaller moments, even in big films, and it sounds like that's what Whedon's got in store for The Avengers 2. Some die-hard action purists may have a problem with that, but I say bring it on. Maybe the sequel can start right after the shawarma scene, when the team has to figure out how to split the bill.


Friday, May 11, 2012

Favorite Scene Friday - Mother's Day Edition! The Tree of Life: The Way of Nature versus The Way of Grace

"There are two ways through life.  The way of nature and the way of grace.  You have to choose which one you'll follow."

The Tree of Life is an amazing, frustrating film.  I have probably never seen a movie shot so beautifully, with such breath-taking imagery, yet left the theatre feeling so bothered and confused.  I remember seeing it with every intention of writing a review, but I just....couldn't.  What's the movie about?  It's about life.  The universe.  God.  Family.  Faith.  Love.  Loss.  Reconciling your life and beliefs as a child with what your adult life has become.   All of these things...combined with how this world came to be.  To sum it up, The Tree of Life is about the meaning of life.  It's about why we're all really here.  And maybe that's why I had such a hard time wrapping my mind around it.  Because at the end of the day, it brought about so many questions...fundamental, life-altering questions...that I quite simply cannot even begin to answer. 

Having said all of this, I absolutely loved this movie.  I loved how every scene was like a memory.  I loved how the beauty of life was explored, again and again.  I loved how perfectly Jessica Chastain played her role as mother to those three boys...and how she most resembled Mother Earth...mother to all of us. 

So on this Favorite Scene Friday, I chose one of my favorite scenes that involves Jessica Chastain's madonna-like character.  One of the things I took away from the movie is that we should all aspire to be just like her in the way we live.  This clip is one of the opening scenes, and reveals her reflections on her life - her childhood, her love, her faith, and the beauty, or grace, with which she sees the world.  Happy Friday, everyone. 



Monday, May 7, 2012

Music Video Monday! "Sabotage": Listen All of Y'all: MCA Tribute



As is the norm nowadays, I first learned about the death of Adam Yauch, better known as MCA of the Beastie Boys, via Twitter. Not since Kurt Cobain has a musician’s death genuinely bummed me out as much as I was when I heard the news of Yauch’s passing. I don't want to sound cold hearted, so let me explain that a little better. It’s always sad when someone dies, but if you don’t know them, you’re like, that’s too bad and then you return to your everyday life. Then there are other times when a death like this really gets you thinking about your life and how that stranger influenced it. Although I’ve long ago changed my taste in music, MCA this Music Video Monday is dedicated to you.

In 1986, I was a freshman in high school and Licensed to Ill came out in November of that year. The release was right in the middle of basketball season and I still remember how that cassette kept me company on all of those long bus rides. Man I played the shit out of that cassette. When the Beastie Boys came out, they changed the hip-hop landscape immediately. They had a unique sound, but not because they were white, they were unique because they mixed rock with rap. They were rapcore and nu-metal, before rapcore and nu metal were a thing. With tracks like, “The New Style”, “No Sleep ‘Til Brooklyn” , “(You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party)” and the opener “Rhymin’ and Stealin’”, a song that samples Black Sabbath, it had an appeal that traditional rap didn’t .  I mean look at what Aerosmith and Run DMC did for each other on the “Walk This Way” remake. “Fight For Your Right” may have gotten all the attention, but if you really listen, Licensed to Ill is top to bottom a high quality, debut effort.

With their next two releases, Paul’s Boutique and Check Your Head, the b-boys lost me just a bit. I still purchased both and I love “Hey Ladies” and “So Whatcha Want”, but grunge had grabbed hold, until the 1994 release of Ill Communication. With “Sure Shot”, “Root Down”, “Get It Together”, “Alright Hear This” and today’s Music Video Monday, “Sabotage”, the Beastie Boys were back in my life.

“Sabotage”, the song, was performed by the Beastie Boys (MCA on bass, Ad-Rock on guitar and Mike D on drums). I really appreciate the fact that they played their own instruments because it was such a change from the other rappers who primarily teamed up with a DJ. Even today, it’s quite strange to see a rapper grab something besides their package or a microphone. “Sabotage”, the video, is an awesome tribute to the cop shows and movies of the 70’s. It features the trio, as cops, dressed in cheesy clothes, bad wigs and even worse mustaches. I hope you enjoy and if you haven’t poured out a little Brass Monkey yet, there’s still time. Happy Monday and make sure to live your soundtrack out loud!





Friday, May 4, 2012

Favorite Scene Friday! Avengers Overload!

So I saw The Avengers last night. As of this writing I survived the cinematic onslaught, but I think the part of my brain that registers awesomeness received a lot of damage. The flick is just that good.

Anyhoo, since we’ve been writing about The Avengers nonstop for the past five months, I thought it would be fitting to celebrate the film’s release - and the flicks that came before it - by giving the series the Favorite Scene Friday! treatment. Enjoy!

Iron Man - Yeah, I Can Fly

This is one of my favorite scenes from Iron Man. It’s simple, fun, and kind of thrilling. It captures the beginnings of a superhero perfectly.


Yeah, I Can Fly
Iron Man — MOVIECLIPS.com


The Incredible Hulk - Campus Battle


HULK SMASH!!!


Iron Man 2 - Suitcase Suit


To be honest, I really don't have a whole lot of favorite scenes from Iron Man 2, but the one below is pretty cool.


Suitcase Suit
Iron Man 2 — MOVIECLIPS.com


Thor - The Power of Thor

This might be my favorite scene in the whole series. It’s big, triumphant, goosebump-inducing, and there’s just something inherently heroic about it. Thor stands up to his brother, regains his father’s love, reclaims his power and proves himself to his human friends in one brave act.




Captain America - Rogers' Transformation

My favorite scene from Captain America is actually the bit near the end where he’s just waking up in the present. I love the sound of the wind and the darkness (maybe Cap’s last memories before freezing alive?), followed by the baseball game on the radio and Cap’s growing confusion.

But I can’t find that scene anywhere! So here’s Steve Rogers' transformation into Cap, also a good scene.



Well, what are you doing reading this still? Go see The Avengers for Odin’s sake! And Happy Friday!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Nerd Lunch Podcast 35 Supplemental

**spoiler alert!**

Another Nerd Lunch podcast from CT and Jeeg from Nerd Lunch and Pax from Cavalcade of Awesome has been loosed on the world and yours truly makes an appearance. Check it out below. First, however, I thought it would be fun to provide some supplemental material for some of the topics we discussed.

While we were discussing excessive, spoilery trailers, CT brought up Prometheus. The team behind the promotion of Ridley Scott’s new flick has been putting out a steady supply of viral videos to hype the upcoming film. I mentioned one of the more recent videos - an ad of sorts regarding Michael Fassbender’s character. Check it out below (unless you’re CT).



As a bonus, here’s a post I did on one of the earlier videos - a TED talk put on by Guy Pearce’s character Peter Weyland.

Later in the podcast we touched on the topic of product placement (PP) in films. I mentioned that I don’t have a problem with PP (giggle) and I brought up this scene from Wayne’s World.



I also mentioned the movie Mac and Me. It’s a horrible rip-off of E.T. filled with product placement. There is a crazy hilarious McDonald’s scene, however. Check it out:



And, for good measure, here’s the infamous Mac and Me wheelchair scene:



We went off on a tangent about the Hoverboard from Back to the Future and fake products in general for a while. I think I attributed a recent article about a real-life Hoverboard to joblo.com but I actually read it on Badass Digest. Sorry about that!


One thing I forgot to mention while we were on the topic of celebrity meltdowns was this interesting, recent(ish) clip of Robert Downey Jr. asking the world to forgive Mel Gibson:



So that’s it! I hope you like the podcast. I know I enjoyed my third time in the hot seat and I hope the gang invites me back on. Now I’m just waiting on Pax to call me about that Fantastic Four/The Room double feature...





 

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Music Video Monday (Wednesday)!: Nothin' At All



What does it take to be lonely you ask? According to Dr. Dog, nothin' at all. Yes, it's Wednesday and I'm sure at this point of the week you're really jonesin' for some Music Video Monday. Due to the tardiness, I'm bringing some good stuff. If you've paid attention at all to our blog, then you know that we enjoy us some Dr. Dog. They bring the horn to the unicorn, the rain to the bow and the hot to the damn. Tonight's entry, "Lonesome", comes from Be The Void the latest LP from Philly's favorite. Tiffany, "Control Yourself". You see what I did there? I hope you had a Happy Hump Day and remember to live your soundtrack out loud everyday.

My White (Purple) Whale



1 of  1,341
As promised, I'm here to share the debriefing from my secret mission last Saturday. So here goes. The tteh! crew took the beautiful city of St. Augustine by storm for the day. We had drinks at St. George Tavern and more drinks and lunch at A1A Ale House. I recommend the fish tacos!. We visited the Bloody Sunset house on 124 Marine Street, had more drinks at the No Name Bar and then Robert and Nick puffed on some cigars at Stogies. We didn't see the ghost upstairs, but had a lovely 20 minute conversation with a guy who drove a limo in Hawaii and repeatedly told us, "I wouldn't lie, I met a lot of people."

Two highlights for me were him telling Prince, "I'll be waiting back stage after the show to pick you up" and Prince saying, "no you won't you, you'll be in the front row" and the other was him threatening to kick the members of Wu Tang Clan out of his limo for breaking his crystal glasses. Limo driver, "You know how much that crystal is?" Wu Tang Clan member, "We are the Wu Tang Clan!" Limo driver, "You'll be the Wu Tang Clan on the side of the road!" This is the same guy that told us that he pushes his bike from Palatka to St. Augustine, a 30 mile trek, just in case he wants to ride it back. Classic!

Finally, we finished the day with fruity drinks in The Backyard of Meehan's Irish Pub. All that made for a great day, but my main purpose for the trip was the attempt to obtain a copy of the limited Record Store Day release of the Arctic Monkey's 7" single, "R U Mine? with the B-side "Electricity".


I woke up at 7:30 am on a fricking Saturday morning, walked the dog, picked up Robert and then we swung by to get Tiffany. The clock read 8:30 am and we were heading down 95S, to the ancient city's famous attraction, Music Matters. It's one of the only, if not the only, record store in St. Augustine that still sells vinyl. All the way down I was nervous. Were there going to be a lot of Arctic Monkeys fans? Did we leave too late? Who will I have to beat down to get my hands on the prize? Robert mentioned something about this being my white whale. I thought to myself, I hope I'm more successful than Ahab. As we pulled into the parking lot and I saw that a line (8 people) had already formed, my worries grew because there was only one copy of this purple beauty.

As we walked up, I started to size up the competition. I worked my way from the back of the line to the door. The first two, in front of me, were a young couple. I pegged them for Flagler College students. She was wearing a tie-dye T-shirt, black horned rim glasses, Birkenstocks and her hair was in a dirty ponytail. He was dressed like Ezra Koenig from Vampire Weekend. I ruled her out, but I kept my eyes on him, looking and listening for any hints that would tip his hand. Next in line was your average middle aged couple, him in velcro Teva sandals (no socks thankfully) and her in mom jeans and a plain looking shirt tightly tucked in. They were definitely not Arctic Monkeys fans. With a quick glance, I immediately ruled out the next lady in line as well. She was gray haired and looked to be in  her late 50's.

Tiffany zoned in on #3, but I didn't see him as that much of a threat. Like the lady behind him, he seemed to be in his late 50's, but she was convinced that he was someone to worry about. He did look like he was the type of guy who might go in and buy everything up and then sell it on eBay so we started to devise our plan. Would Tiffany use her female powers?  Maybe Robert could go buck naked and yell, "hey look at me!" as he streaked by the store. The more I studied this guy, the more I tried to convince myself that he was there for the Grateful Dead Live release or maybe the Paul McCartney single, however I would still keep our plan in my pocket just in case.

Finally, my eyes made it to the first two in line. They were a hippie looking couple. She was sans bra and I swear she smelled of trail mix and patchouli and when he turned around he wore a glorious granola saver, Phish t-shirt and matching hat. Yes! Eliminated! My eight competitors were now narrowed down to two, the Ezra Koenig look alike and Mr. Grateful Dead.

As the owner emerged from the store around 9:50 am, 10 minutes early, to welcome and thank everyone for showing up, I listened carefully to his instructions. Then something pretty cool happened, he told the Phish couple that they would get the album they wanted because they had been there since 5:30 am. It was go time. Just before the door opened, I asked Tiffany and Robert to hit the LP section and I would go straight to the 7" single section. The door opened, we all piled in and I made a bee-line to my section. "Grateful Dead" wanted Coldplay, David Bowie and Bruce Springsteen. Yes! I looked around and "Vampire Weekend" was nowhere to be seen. I moved to the counter and saw the purple circle tucked into it's virgin white sleeve. I swear, as I reached for it, a bright light began to shine through the window and angels or maybe it was Florence + the Machine could be heard in the background. The owner handed it to me and I'm sure I had a child's grin on my face. It would be the perfect start to an awesome day with friends and I hope I get a chance to do it all again next year.