Friday, April 27, 2012

Favorite Scene Friday: Vampire’s Kiss – Because Nicolas Cage is a Joke

This week’s installment of Favorite Scene Friday features yet another stunning, yet blasphemous, performance by none other than the joke that is:  Nicolas Cage.  Why such a harsh beginning to what very well could be a glorious weekend, you ask?  Well . . .
Maybe it’s because we share the same moniker.
Maybe it’s because I fancy myself logical and somewhat sane.
Maybe it’s because he keeps finding work in Hollywood.
Or maybe it’s just because Nicolas Cage is a goddamned talentless farce. 
Yeah, I’m gonna stick with that last one.  As I was flipping through channels last night, I came across IFC and they were showing Vampire’s Kiss, in particular the scene below.  I’ve never actually seen Vampire’s Kiss and I’m fairly certain I never will, unless I’m looking for a B-Movie that’s trying really, really hard.  I should admit that IMDb has it listed as “comedy, fantasy, horror” but I don’t know.  I’m a bit skeptical on the comedy part as I’ve seen the same type of reaction throughout too many Nic Cage films, most of which are not comedies, or at least not meant to be.  I’m utterly dumbfounded when I hear/see people discussing how “good” the latest Nicolas Cage movie is.  I don’t get it.  Even back in 1997 when I sat in the movie theater taking in the hodgepodge of stupid that materialized as Con Air I couldn’t take Cage seriously.  I’ve got a southern accent that I’m not very proud of, but listening to him talk was like sticking rotten eggs in my ear canals.  Pointless and stinky.  My brothers and many others sure liked it though, and now they’re still pumping money into theater chains for the latest “I … said … put … the … bunny … back … in … the … box,” type of lingo. 
I often hope and pray that said people are just doing it to get a good, solid laugh, but who knows.  Every dog has his day, hell I kinda like 8MM and I love the Coen Bros so Raising Arizona is an obvious plus in my book, but someone needs to keep Nic behind the camera from now.  Let him produce the cheese that he's used to giving instead of screaming it at us.  "NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES!"  Not the cheese.  I'm sure my efforts here will be ignored by those who know what they're doing in Hollywood, but I've enjoyed the rant anyway.  Here's to you, Nic, just keep punching ‘em out there, you weird, goofy ass bastard.  Happy Friday Everyone!  And be sure to laugh.


  1. I haven't seen VK either, but I did catch the ending once. It's at the end of this montage.

    And what a montage it is.

    I like some of Cage's work, but nowadays I watch him for a laugh more than anything else. "HOW'D IT GET BURNED??!"

    And I wouldn't say you have a southern accent. No worries there. Maybe you could try out the wonderful accent Cage used in VK, though?

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