Once Again, A Six Pack of Thoughts

by Jeremy Tidwell

It's been a while since I've found the time to sit back, crack open a few bottles of my favorite alcohol, and slip into my rather obsessive thought pattern over all things pop culture related. Life has been busy and sometimes the simple pleasure of drinking beer after beer while musing upon the current state of things is not something that can happen often.

Yet this past week I actually found time to do just that. After my birthday I found myself a little hung over and decided the best way to remedy my current state was to enjoy some of the “hair of the dog that bit me”. For those unaware of this saying, it just means I drank more to bury my hangover in more alcohol. And in doing this, I was able to enjoy a few cold ones and think.

So here's what I came up with…

BEER ONE

I’m not sure how I missed the Bates Motel train when it first come around, but damn is that not a good show. Bates Motel on A&E is a well scripted and superbly acted show that allows some insight into a fascinating character by the name of Norman Bates.

Laurent Durieux

Speaking of Norman Bates, Freddie Highmore’s portrayal of the confused and disjointed Norman is pitch perfect. He's able to find the nuances of the character that pulls out all the innocence and despair that makes me feel sorry for Norman. I want to see him just succeed and get past it but we all know how Norman turns out – an obsessive, cross dressing psychopath who channels his Mother’s essence to commit his crimes. Damn.

If you've missed out on this one, binge watch it. You won’t be disappointed. “Whatever you say, Mother.”

BEER TWO

As a lifelong horror movie lover, I'm growing more and more frustrated with the current trend of taking iconic horror villains and feeling the need to explain everything about them. Like the viewer needs to know how they became the way they are or why they kill or what color underwear they prefer.

It's overwrought and useless. The recent news of the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre film being about the teenage years of Leatherface and even the idea that a new Friday the 13th film will attempt to explain the immortality of Jason Voorhees, has sparked this recent rant of mine.

The great thing about these characters is their ambiguity. The simple fact that they're killers with no real reason or thought but just that they feel the need to kill is enough. The idea that there's no reasoning with these killers, that there's no remorse with them,  is what makes them frightening.

Take the original Halloween as a shining example of this notion. In that film, Michael Myers’ actions were never explained. He was just pure evil...the embodiment of pure, unchecked evil.

He was the Boogeyman. It was never explained why he killed, but it didn’t matter. The fact that he killed because he was malevolent was all we needed to be scared and check our closet at night before we went to sleep. If you look at all the great horror villains, there is very little explanation or exposition on why they do what they do. Freddy liked killing kids, Jason was left to drown by promiscuous teens, Leatherface was nuts, Myers was a soulless killing machine who had family issues. Simple. Plain. To the point. No need to try and go deeper with these characters because they're like nightmares. Nightmares don’t always make sense, but they sure do keep us up at night.

That's what made these characters great - not that we knew all their motivations and why they wanted to butcher people. Sometimes the thing we know very little about is the thing that scares us the most. I hope those production companies, writers, and filmmakers figure this out before they ruin
everything.

BEER THREE

FUCK KANYE. Yep, I said it. I loved, no, I adored this guy’s music when he first came out. Hell, I still contend 808s and Heartbreak is one of the best rap/pop/R&B/whatever genre albums to come out in the past ten years. But now, see the first statement I made at the beginning of this small section.

BEER FOUR

With this beer my thoughts are reaching a frenzied point of going off the rails. The alcohol seems to be seeping into my veins a tad quicker than normal due to the fact that I'm nursing a hangover by ingesting more beer. But I'll push forward because I'm sure the readers wonder what other dumb bile I might spew forth if given the chance. Or maybe they're truly interested. Especially after I just said fuck Kanye.

Well, one thing I keep thinking about is tacos. I'm hungry. I think I'm going to get tacos after I finish this article. It seems like the right thing to do.

BEER FIVE

I wonder, can it finally happen? Can two of the coolest time traveling, air guitar playing dudes in
the cinematic universe be close to another adventure? Of course, I'm talking about Bill and Ted. I (and I hope many others) love these characters so much that I would kill someone very slowly for the chance to see another film.

DKNG via /Film

I don’t know if it's just the nostalgia factor or if there's something just truly transcendent about the characters, but I think another Bill and Ted film would be so righteous. A fun film that appeals to the good in all of us. Yes, you may think that's a lofty label placed upon a film about two pretty dumb dudes who stumble into history based hi-jinks, but think back on those films and just how damn cool and fun they were. I can’t see anything wrong with wanting to have another Bill and Ted film and see what happened to the WYLD STALLYNS!

BEER SIX

Actually at this point I've already downed beer six and I'm now enjoying a hard apple cider with a splash of fireball in the neck of the bottle. A very tasty treat that has just the right kick. It does seem by now that I'll be dealing with another treacherous hangover, but, what the hell.

My final thought, well, the final thought for this article, will pertain to how awesome The Walking Dead was this season. It's just been a powerhouse of a show, in my humble, yet inebriated opinion. Many claim the program has become more of a soap opera or a slow, grinding show that really goes nowhere. I disagree. It's a program that shows such power, sadness, rage, hope, and loss that you can’t help but tune in. There are so many chess games and deeper themes floating in this zombie drama, that as a viewer you have to pay more attention to the humans than the zombies. Following the main group and all their struggles and triumphs, you can’t help but become attached, and when the show kills one of them off, you're forced to deal with their death in a very real, human way. The show doesn’t allow you to look away or blink at the atrocities being shown.

The detractors of the show say it's being too slow or melodramatic and focus on the wrong things. The show is based off a comic that was all about the human element of the zombie apocalypse. It was about showing how people and society would deal with all of this happening. It was not about the zombies and how they just ran around and ate people. It was always about Rick Grimes and his band of survivors (his family) and what they did to make it through this new way of life with the undead. So, it seems your complaining is pointless if you look at the source material and what the heart of the story really is. 

I think this show is top notch, and if you're missing it, you should catch up. And if you don’t like my opinion, then maybe the next time I see you I'll “Otis” your ass and let the nearby zombies dine on you like it's half off at the Golden Corral. Maybe that'll happen. Maybe not.

Well, that's all I got. Six beers. Six thoughts. Even though I did sneak in another beverage, it still counts as six. Anyway, I'm going to go drink some more and then talk with real people about all this shit and see what they think.

Jeremy Tidwell is an artist, writer and filmmaker. He loves John Hughes movies and can't sleep with the closet door open. He currently resides at the bottom of Buffalo Bill's pit. He hates the lotion.

A Six Pack of Thoughts

by Jeremy Tidwell

As I sit here savoring the last six pack of Shipyard’s Pumpkinhead beer that I stock piled during the magical season of spookiness known as October, I'm stampeded by various thoughts and ruminations that only come when one becomes ensnared in the hoppy goodness of pumpkin flavored beer or, for that matter, any alcohol-infused beverage.

Shipyard

The mind has a way of meandering to things that matter and things that don’t seem to hold any real value, except to those chosen few who have found a way to let go of the mundane and embrace the glorious. Movies, poetry, books, art, and especially pop culture, all superfluously flow into your cerebral cortex and set up base camp as the spirits of the bottle find their way into your blood stream and endanger your capacity for rational thought.

So I figured I'd give all the discerning and scholarly readers out there a peek behind the curtain. A look into the mind of someone who quite possibly is taking an uncalculated risk by drinking copious amounts of beer in a short amount of time and then spouting off their opinions. But what the hell, I’ve never been one to NOT have an opinion on things. Now join me by cracking open your favorite beer and seeing if any of the shit I spew forth makes any sense to you.

FIRST BEER

Having just read the article that outlined the treatment* (for the uninformed, a treatment is an extensive outline for a screenplay that has yet to be written) for the new Ghostbusters III movie written by Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg (those guys of The Office fame), I find myself a little giddy at what could have been. Now, the treatment is by no means perfect (an ending that once again involves crossing the streams) but it does have the feel of what a Ghostbusters movie should be. It should have the original characters involved in a new adventure that brings an end to their story. That gives the audience the closure we've always wanted for those beloved characters. Instead, we'll now be subjected to an all-female “reboot” of the original movie, written and directed by Paul Feig. I'll quote the great Peter Venkman here: “Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!” Definitely not a good thing.

SECOND BEER

Sometimes television shows of your childhood run in syndication on odd channels at odd hours. For me, one of those shows was Boy Meets World, and it airs on the Disney Channel late at night. This night I find myself watching the show while sipping slowly, which allows me to enjoy the beer longer. But I digress. This two part episode was the series finale, where the group of friends left for the big bad city known as New York. I forgot how powerful the show could be, especially when thinking about how it kinda shaped parts of my childhood. Maybe you find that weird but it was a good show. The best friend Shawn, the amazing and hot girlfriend Topanga, the wisdom filled teacher/neighbor Mr. Feeny, and the lovable Corey, all involved in the crazy and wonderful thing known as life. I really do love this show and this episode may have made me cry (but that could just be the alcohol sneaking up on me, causing me to become over emotional). Maybe.

Maxim

THIRD BEER

After a brief conversation with a close friend, I've decided that if you’re not watching the television show Sleepy Hollow, you should be. Gothic horror mixed with modern day comedy. It may sound like a cup of tea you don’t want to taste, but I think you should. There are many aspects of the show that make it an enjoyable watch, especially considering how it expands the mythos of the Headless Horseman and uses our own American history as a basis for its own dark and twisted mythology.

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FOURTH BEER

Based on a chart that I recently saw floating around on the internets, I was able to deduce that if I learn karate, I can become Batman. Yeah, I think it's that easy. Just look it up and you'll see what I'm talking about. Maybe I have that backwards but, whatever. I like beer.

FIFTH BEER

Ah, screw this! Where’s the Fireball?

Thanks for reading, I guess. Maybe you didn’t read and I'm just writing this because it feels like the best way to end this meandering stream of consciousness I'd like to call an article. Either way, I wrote it, and that counts for something.

As for that last beer, well let’s see what happens next time.

*I did find out this was a fake, but it sounds better than anything else I've read about a new Ghostbusters movie.

Jeremy Tidwell is an artist, writer and filmmaker. He loves John Hughes movies and can't sleep with the closet door open. He currently resides at the bottom of Buffalo Bill's pit. He hates the lotion.