Now Hear This! : Back to School Edition - Part II

I'm glad you didn't drop the class because I have some more great music from movies about school. Today I have sex with pies, angry dancing, an eccentric loner, a rich boy in love with a girl from across the tracks, a loveable but incompetent substitute teacher, an emotional plea for love, the gator, a sex safe video, a geeky group of losers and the coolest frat house on the block.

American Pie - "Apple pie, huh? McDonald's or homemade?"
"You Wanted More" Tonic
"Flagpole Sitta" Harvey Danger
"One Week" Barenaked Ladies
"Laid" James
"At Last" Etta James
"Everything to Everyone" Everclear
"Celebrity Skin" Hole
"Going Away To College" Blink 182
"Semi-Charmed Life" Third Eye Blind

Footloose - "I thought this was a party. LET'S DANCE!"
"Footloose" Kenny Loggins
"Almost Paradise" (Love Theme from Footloose) Mike Reno and Ann Wilson
"Holding Out for a Hero" Bonnie Tyler



Donnie Darko - Creepy fucking rabbit
"Never Tear Us Apart" INXS
"Head Over Heels" Tears for Fears
"Under the Milky Way" The Church
"Notorious" Duran Duran
"Love Will Tear Us Apart" Joy Division

Pretty in Pink - Duckie did ya really think you had a chance?
"Try a Little Tenderness" Otis Redding
“If You Leave” Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark



School of Rock - "Ok, here's the deal. I have a hangover. Who knows what that means?"
"Substitute" The Who
"Touch Me" The Doors
"Sunshine of Your Love" Cream
"Immigrant Song" Led Zeppelin
"Set You Free" The Black Keys
"Edge of Seventeen" Stevie Nicks

Say Anything - Boom box check, trench coat check, win girl back…
"Cult of Personality" Living Colour
"In Your Eyes" Peter Gabriel

Animal House - "Yeah, Yeah!” “Yeah, Yeah!"
"Louie, Louie" John Belushi
"Twistin' the Night Away" Sam Cooke
"Shama Lama Ding Dong" (Otis Day and the Knight)
"(What a) Wonderful World" Sam Cooke
"Shout" (Otis Day and the Knights)



The Girl Next Door - "Actually, no, Mrs. Kidman, they're porn stars."
"Under Pressure" Queen and David Bowie
"Lady Marmalade" Patti LaBelle
"Sweet Home Alabama" Lynyrd Skynyrd
"What's Going On" Marvin Gaye
"Counterfeit" Limp Bizkit
"Lapdance" N.E.R.D.
"Baba O' Riley" The Who

Accepted - "Listen guys, there are plenty of successful people who didn't go to college. Albert Einstein. You know? Pocahontas never went to college. Corey Feldman and Corey Haim; they had a great run."
"Gravity Rides Everything" Modest Mouse
"To Be Young (Is To Be Sad, Is To Be High)" Ryan Adams

Old School - "You’re my boy Blue."
"Paid in Full" Eric B & Rakim
"Dust in the Wind" Kansas
"Hungry Like the Wolf" Duran Duran
"Gonna Make You Sweat" C & C Music Factory
"Master of Puppets" Metallica
"The Sound of Silence" Simon & Garfunkel
"Here I Go Again" Whitesnake
"Total Eclipse of the Heart" Bonnie Tyler
"Lady" Styx

Now Hear This! : Back to School Edition - Part I

So it’s that time of year again, Back to School. A time for boo-hoo parties for parents who drop their little tikes off for the first time, finger painting that is bound to earn a spot on the refrigerator, noticing the opposite sex for the first time, the awkward middle school years when you’re kind of a young adult, but still act like your eight years old, Friday night football games where Kaylee cheers her little heart out for the team and then gets shit faced afterwards, prom and the eternal search for that first piece of ass, acquiring new knowledge from those agenda driven professors, who use mind control on the newest crop of “save the planet” children or even worse working your ass off for that dick professor just to get a B, new love, new personas and “going through a phase”, binge drinking, house parties, bar fights, tailgating, the quest for the championship, formals, streaking in the quad and waking up in someone’s bathtub. *** Note to all college kids: don’t ever leave, responsibilities and bills suck ass!

In honor of the new school year, I compiled a list of songs - in no particular order- that appear in movies about school or at least feature school in some way. Enjoy and Happy listening!

Sixteen Candles - Oh Jake Ryan you're so dreamy!
"If You Were Here" Thompson Twins

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off - "Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?"
"Danke Schoen" Wayne Newton

The Breakfast Club - "We're all bizarre, some of us are just better at hiding it that's all."
"(Don’t You) Forget About Me" Simple Minds

10 Things I Hate About You - R.I.P Heath Ledger
"Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You" Frankie Valli (performed by the late Heath Ledger)



Dazed and Confused - "That's what I like about these high school girls; I get older, they stay the same age."
"Stranglehold" Ted Nugent
"Paranoid" Black Sabbath
"Slow Ride" Foghat

Grease - "You know that I ain't braggin', she's a real pussy wagon - greased lightnin'"
"You Are The One That I Want" Olivia Newton John & John Travolta
"Summer Love" Olivia Newton John & John Travolta
"Greased Lightning" John Travolta



Risky Business - "Sometimes you gotta say what the fuck."
"Old Time Rock and Roll" Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band
"In the Air Tonight" Phil Collins

Varsity Blues - Hey Ali, just throwin’ this out there, I have whip cream and cherries.
"My Hero" Foo Fighters

Fast Times at Ridgemont High - Oh Phoebe Cates, where are you?
"Moving in Stereo" The Cars



The Graduate - "Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me."
"Mrs. Robinson" Simon & Garfunkel
“Scarborough Fair/Canticle" Simon & Garfunkel
"The Sound of Silence" Simon & Garfunkel

Part II Tomorrow

Music Video Monday! The Proclaimers: I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)

If I Get Drunk…

Who couldn’t love a song by a couple of goofy, big mouth, big eared, Scottish identical twins? I know I do, so that’s why with the help of a good friend, (maybe now he’ll have a reason to check out the blog), I have chosen the 1988 hit I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) by The Proclaimers. This upbeat little diddy was featured in the 1993 film Benny & Joon, HIMYM: Season 5 and a snippet was used in a Season 4 episode of Family Guy.

Okay so I know you’re probably trying to claim that you never really liked this song. I’m not one to pull skeletons out of closets so I’ll take your word for it. I will however give you fair warning. Once you watch the video, this song will bury itself inside your ears and by the end of the day I guarantee you’ll be singing Dah dah dah dah, Dah dah dah dah, Dah dah dah dah, Dah dah dah dah. As an added bonus, I have included Peter Griffin’s attempt to record with The Proclaimers. I apologize for the quality of that video, it’s the best I could find.

Enjoy the videos and definitely enjoy your Monday!

Favorite Scene Friday! The Naked Gun: Frank "comforts" Nordberg's Wife

After watching the very disturbing Grave Encounters last night, I decided I needed a big dose of happiness on this Favorite Scene Friday - and who better to give me that happiness than Frank Drebin himself?  This bumbling, clueless cop whose heart is much, much bigger than his brain, represents everything that is funny and good.  

In this scene from The Naked Gun, Frank's attempts to console Nordberg's wife fall more than a little short. Enjoy! 
 

Batch O’ Hatch: Soul Searching With Ryan Adams, Fan Freedom, A Whole Lotta Ruckus and New FATM

Oh, my sweet Ryan Adams…

Fantastic news everyone!  The incredibly talented Ryan Adams will be releasing an album in October.  Some of us Hatchers are die-hard Ryan Adams fans and for us, this is a momentous occasion.  Adams is by far one of the best songwriters of my generation.  I don’t know if I have done as much soul-searching to any other artist or band.  His new album, entitled Ashes and Fire, will hopefully be just as amazing as his previous works.

To provide some background – after releasing a number of albums in a relatively short amount of time, both as a solo artist and during his time with The Cardinals, Adams announced in 2009 that he was taking a break from music to get married and regroup.  I certainly hope this time has been good for him.  He is a sensitive soul with a good heart and that shows through all of his music.  I absolutely cannot wait for the new album and the accompanying tour.  I would love to see him come to the Sunshine State, but anywhere in the continental U.S. will suffice.  I have an endless amount of love for this man.  I will travel.

Just yesterday, Adams posted one of the new tracks, “Lucky Now,” on Soundcloud.  I listened to the song over and over again last night and I have to say – this is the Ryan Adams I have known and loved for years.  The song begins with the words “I don’t remember…were we wild and young?  All that’s faded in a memory.”  It then leads into the first chorus, “the lights will draw you in, and the dark will bring you down, and the night will break your heart…only if you’re lucky now.”  This affirmed for me that this new album will be nothing short of incredible!  You can listen to the track here.

Ashes and Fire will be released on October 10^th.  The full track listing is included below.

'Dirty Rain'
'Ashes & Fire'
'Come Home'
'Rocks'
'Do I Wait'
'Chains Of Love'
'Invisible Riverside'
'Save Me'
'Kindness'
'Lucky Now'
'I Love You But I Don't Know What To Say'

Our Rights As Ticketholders

I recently “liked” a page on Facebook for an organization called Fan Freedom Project.  It was recommended to me by the site and, as a regular concert-goer, I was instantly interested in learning more.  According to Fan Freedom Project’s page, it’s “an organization dedicated to promoting and preserving the rights of live event patrons, including the right to own the tickets they purchase and to have all rights associated with ownership.”

Just last year, I, along with a fellow Hatcher, ran into an issue with Ticketmaster’s paperless ticketing process.  We purchased tickets for a group of folks to attend a concert in Tampa, and then learned that in order to get into the show, our entire group had to enter the venue together, with the purchaser of the tickets.  The purchaser also had to have identification and the card with which the tickets were purchased.  The entire process ended up being a pain for us.  It’s difficult enough to attend a show more than three hours away – an unfortunate burden us Jacksonvillians are frequently faced with – but trying to rein our entire group into one plan was next to impossible.  But all of that aside, I just couldn’t help feeling an incredible amount of frustration with this policy because, well, they were OUR tickets.  If I purchase an item at a store, I walk away with it.  The item is mine to do whatever I want with it.  I know that the ultimate goal of paperless ticketing is to keep people from reselling tickets at prices higher than face value, but it seems to me that it’s the fans that really get punished.  It’s nice to see fans and ticketholders taking action, and it will be interesting to see where this issue ends up.

You can find background and additional info on Fan Freedom Project here. 

Bring the Ruckus!

Funnyman JB Smoove, a/k/a the gut-busting Leon Black on HBO’s Curb Your Enthusiasm, recently announced the creation of his comedy website TheRuckus.com.  Anyone out there who is not familiar with JB is seriously missing out.  Not only has he become a household name for Curb watchers, he also puts on the best stand-up comedy I have ever seen.  Seriously.  Hands down, the best.  I saw him perform in Jacksonville two years ago with some fellow Hatchers and I laughed so hard I cried during his entire set.  I would put out some serious cash to see him perform again, and it looks I may have to, as JB has recently secured roles in a number of popular films, including Date Night and Hall Pass (although his comedic talents were so underused in both of those roles I almost have a hard time mentioning them).  He is also cast in the upcoming films The Sitter (which looks hilarious) and We Bought A Zoo.  You can check out JB in his role as Leon in these clips from Curb.

Anyhow, I think the intent of The Ruckus website is to be like Funny Or Die, where there is a team of comedians and writers posting material and users can upload their own vids.  Also, as a really cool sidenote, the day I joined the site I actually got a shout out on the home screen!  You have to look close in the “What’s Going Down” section, but there she is.  Our graphic designer Robert even circled it in red!  Ruckus!

New track by FATM

One final, awesome note in this Batch O’Hatch.  Yesterday, Brit songstress Florence Welch and her band Florence and the Machine released a track from their upcoming new album, entitled What the Water Gave Me.  Florence saw major success with her debut effort, 2010’s Lungs, which I would argue is one of the best albums of the decade.  Her voice is awesome, her sound is unique, and the new song is pretty damn good.  Check it out here and let us know what you think!

A Peek Through the Hatch: Grave Encounters and Ghost Hunters

Grave Encounters, a found footage horror film about a crew of TV paranormal investigators who get trapped in a genuinely haunted psychiatric hospital, spooks its way onto VOD, iTunes and Amazon this Thursday, August 25^th. Check out the film's website right here.

The trailer below looks sufficiently creepy. Hopefully this flick can balance its story with its scares, unlike another recent found footage horror I could mention (okay, it’s Atrocious).

 

And if Grave Encounters alone can’t satisfy your ghost jones this week, it turns out that the new season of SyFy’s Ghost Hunters - which is essentially a real-life version of Grave Encounters - will go bump in the night on Wednesday at 9:00 EST. Coincidence? Or is Grave Encounters trying to ride the Ghost Hunters wave? Read up on the show at its website right he - what’s this? An official Ghost Hunters Haunted House Finder app??? You know I’m gonna download that.

 So break out your EMF meter this week and give Ghost Hunters and Grave Encounters a chance. And then use your Ghost Hunters app and meet me at that haunted bar down the street.

Music Video Monday! Madonna: "Take A Bow"

For today’s Music Video Monday, I wanted to post an old favorite.  I will begin by disclosing that I am not much of a fan of 90’s pop music, or today’s pop music for that matter, but I will always be a dedicated Madonna supporter.  Take A Bow is one of her best songs.  90’s pop artist and songwriter Babyface provides background vocals, and he is about as smooth as it gets (I learned in my research that he also co-wrote the track). 

The video for Take A Bow is beautifully shot.  Set and filmed in Spain, it’s about a Spanish bullfighter Madonna’s character is deeply in love with, but tragically neglected by.  Like most of Madonna’s music videos, it’s heavily erotic (anyone else seen the video for Justify My Love?).  It’s sexy as all get out, and I can honestly say that before this, I had never seen anyone actually get it on with a television. 

While the video doesn’t skimp on the sexy, it’s also very tragic to me.  She is clearly in love and clearly heartbroken.  Of all of the beautiful imagery in the Take A Bow video, the scene I always remember is the part where she’s running, dragging her fingers along the wall.  It just stuck with me for some reason...it seemed so sad.  

All heartbreak aside, video is breathtaking and definitely worth watching.  Enjoy!

Fright Night Double Dose

We're checking out the Fright Night remake in 3D tonight. And if you had a hunch that we're the same sort of hardcore, dedicated movie lovers as you – the kind that would watch the original before heading off to the theater – you were right.

I love the original for the three Cs – Cheesy, Creepy, Cool. If you've never seen it, it's a great vampire movie, one where high schooler Charley Brewster suspects that his neighbor is one of the monsters (and turns out to be right, of course). This is before vampires sparkled in the sun.

The word is that the remake is good, but for its own reasons. It's currently at 74% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Check out the trailers for both the original and remake below – and keep a stake under your pillow tonight.

Escape by Sneaking Through the Creepy Gate: Atrocious

It seems like writer/director/editor Fernando Barreda Luna finished cutting together the first hour of Atrocious and then someone kidnapped him and forced him to film a completely unrelated ending. I won’t reveal what happens, but just know that when the credits came up, I was disappointed and confused.

At the beginning of the found footage style film, we meet Cristian and July, brother and sister urban legend investigators who are about to travel with their parents, younger brother Jose, and dog Robin to their beach home in Sitges, Spain. They've heard talk of an urban legend around the house, a tale about a girl named Melinda who got lost in the nearby Garraf woods. If you ever get lost in the woods, Melinda will supposedly show up to help you find your way out. After arriving at the house, the kids discover a locked gate at the edge of the property bordering the woods. Other than that, the house seems normal. When night falls however, the children are kept awake by Robin’s barking.

One morning, Cristian and July slip through the gate to find the Garraf woods stretching out like a labyrinth (think of the maze from The Shining, only it’s constructed from overgrown trees instead of shrubs). Subsequent investigations of the woods reveal all sorts of creepiness, including an altar and a well that reminded me of the one featured in The Ring.

The movie really takes off when Jose goes missing one night and their mother races into the woods to find him. Cristian  and July run after her, cameras at the ready.

Truthfully, this scene of searching wildly in the woods was one of the most intense I've ever seen in a horror film. With each wild turn down another row of spooky trees, I expected a ghost or monster or serial killer to be waiting to pounce on the kids. But after the scene’s first five to ten minutes, the tension just started to frustrate me. At one point, Cristian  is just literally going in circles and I started to wonder if anything was going to happen. Luna clearly saw The Blair Witch Project and said, "Man, those scenes where they were running through the dark woods were intense. LET’SMAKEOURSTWICEASLONG!"

The real problem with the movie is the story. Like I said, the ending comes completely out of left field and seems like it should have been tacked on to a different film. But there are other aspects that just seemed sloppy. Certain characters disappear not because they get lost or die, it's because the filmmakers just forgot about them.

Another thing that soured me on the film – and this kind of ties in with the out-of-left-field ending – was the fact that it engages in “false foreshadowing.” For example (a bit of a spoiler here), at one point, Cristian  pretends that he’s falling in the creepy well to scare July. After the joke is over, he realizes that his sunglasses fell off his head and into the well. He makes such a big deal of this, and it seems like such an obvious setup, that I made a note that the sunglasses would undoubtedly pop up somewhere, implying that someone (maybe Melinda’s ghost?) retrieved them from the well. The sunglasses never show up again.

The well and altar are part of a different problem. Luna must have included certain things in the film just because they were scary, because there’s really no explanation for them. Sure, both items end up playing creepy roles in the film, but we never learn why they’re there in the first place, especially the altar. It was similar to the ghost story. At one point, it’s mentioned that some versions of the urban legend portray Melinda as evil, which contradicts the part of the legend where she HELPS you. It’s like Luna couldn’t decide what he wanted to do here, he just knew ghost stories are scary.

The beginning of the film tells us that "The mind is like a labyrinth in which anyone can get lost.” It seems like that’s what happened with this movie – whatever story Luna was trying to tell got lost somewhere in his mind and it never found its way out. Which is a pity, because there could have been a great horror movie here.

Favorite Scene Friday! Forrest Gump: Forrest and Jenny

It’s hard to pick a favorite scene from Forrest Gump, since the movie’s got a ton of them. A lot of my favorites are kind of depressing, however, and I’m not gonna do that to you guys on a Friday.

I love this scene. I think a few of us here at the blog have a thing for Tom Hanks staring up at a gorgeous sky. This scene is so bittersweet and has some beautiful imagery, and shows how great an actor Hanks is. He can somehow make a character like Forrest Gump seem wise and when he describes the little moments that he experienced in his travels and tells Jenny that she was there with him in his heart or mind or soul it’s really touching. Enjoy and Happy Friday.

The Big Reunion

On Tuesday evening the EH Team assembled to watch The Big Lebowski reunion live on Facebook, which gathered Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, Steve Buscemi, Julianne Moore, John Turturro, and T-Bone Burnett together on the same stage. While it was great to see the cast reunited for the Q&A (it would have been nice to see Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Sam Elliott, though) and generally a treat, I personally thought the Lebowski Fest New York event was a little awkward and could have been executed better.

The moderator, one Clark Collis from Entertainment Weekly, was – well let's just say he was out of his element. Apparently he attended the second annual Lebowski Fest back in the day, and it kind of seemed like he had prepared for that instead of an epic 10 year reunion. It was awkward to watch him interact with the cast because, for one thing, they apparently couldn’t understand a word that was coming out of his mouth. The seating arrangement on stage involved big, white armchairs for each cast member and, while they looked very comfy, they spaced everyone out so much that no one could hear anything. And Jeff Bridges was already spaced out enough for everyone.

Speaking of Bridges – he looked perfectly comfortable in his new role of kooky old man/country music singer (Tuesday also marked the release of Bridges first album, which was produced by T-Bone). The first thing he did when he sat down was interrupt Collis so that he could announce that he needed water. The second thing he did was ask the rest of the cast if they’d like some as well.

As far as the rest of the cast, they ranged from upbeat (Turturro) to bewildered (Buscemi said he hadn’t smoked pot in 20 years but that the fest was making him feel stoned). John Goodman may have been the most fun to watch, however – at one point when he couldn’t understand Collis he got up out of his chair, walked to Collis for the question, and then returned to his seat to answer it, all to the delight of the audience. He also indulged his fans with a well placed “You’re out of your element,” and asked if anyone had a copy of Logjammin’ on VHS.

About the audience – I don’t want to be too harsh on my fellow fans, but they were a little ridiculous with the screaming and quoting. While he was kind of just quoting the movie and being good-natured about the famous line, Buscemi advised the audience that they should be the ones to shut the fuck up, and I couldn’t agree with him more.

It might not have been the audience's fault, because, while Collis did ask some pretty lame questions (one was about what quote the actors get the most from fans, and of course that just riled the crowd up even more) it was really the awkward pauses between the questions that did the damage. But like I said, the Q portion of the Q&A was pretty bad. At times, Bridges asked more interesting questions of his cast mates than Collis did.

At one point near the end of the Q&A, the event slipped into absurdity when, after halting everything to tell the screaming audience that no one on stage could understand them, a very baked-looking Bridges tried to lead everyone in a nice healthy round of a yoga “Ommmm.” But The Dude’s Om sounded like he was trying to channel a grizzly bear.

You may have enjoyed the reunion or Collis and the audience may have gotten to you but, whatever the case, as The Dude pointed out at the end of the Q&A – to his fan’s enthusiastic agreement – that it’s just, like…your opinion man.

I’ll leave you with a performance of one of Bridges’ new songs and a DirecTV commercial that Buscemi and Goodman recently lent their voices to, which Buscemi mentioned during the Q&A.

Movie News: Lone Ranger Troubles

JoBlo is reporting, through Deadline and Hollywood Elsewhere, that Disney has dropped The Lone Ranger, a new take on the story planned for next year that would have starred Johnny Depp as Tonto and The Social Network’s Armie Hammer as the titular Ranger.

 I was excited about this film, and I’m a little bummed that it’s facing difficulties (apparently it’s not completely doomed, as there’s talk of the film finding a new studio to call home). It seems like films I’ve been looking forward to have been getting the axe left and right, starting with Guillermo del Toro’s take on H.P. Lovecraft’s At the Mountains of Madness, and then Ron Howard’s adaption of Stephen King’s The Dark Tower.

As I suspected, the underwhelming tumbleweed that was Cowboys and Aliens is reportedly the culprit, or part of it at least. It kind of tanked, so Disney is naturally worried about another big budget western. Cowboys and Aliens fell in line nicely with other failed westerns like Wild, Wild West and Jonah Hex. Maybe that’s why I was excited for Ranger – I was hoping that it would be a success.

The JoBlo article also points out that the film would have cost $200 million something (!) and the film would have been more devoted to Tonto, which is kind of cool in a way I guess but why not call it Tonto and just be done with it? And there would have been a werewolf, which I’m all for but – wow that sounds like a weird film.

Music Video Monday: Mmmm . . . Tastes So Good

As I’m sure any 80s Metal fan has heard – Warrant lead singer Jani Lane was found dead last week.  He narrowly missed the Forever 27 Club by a mere 20 years, but his voice will live on forever in Metal fans’ heads and endless cherry pie recipe’s.  I’ve already made mention of this band in a previous post as I grew up rocking out with them (well, not all the time) and singing Cherry Pie in my head every time I saw a blond girl around school that I wanted to . . . get to know better.  At a time when pies faced brutal persecution among America’s youth concerning the measure of standards among top desserts, Jani and the gang (along with the help of model, Bobbie Brown – no relation to New Edition) reintroduced its luster back into teenagers’ mainstream thoughts.  So let me dedicate my Music Video Monday selection to the man with the girlie first name and the manly pie agenda.  I’m sure this video is currently (within the past week) been playing on a slew of blogs but we haven’t posted it yet, so here it goes . . .

Escape by Walking Through Plate Glass: Chopping Mall

Chopping Mall, a flick Netflix suggested to me, resides in the glorious subgenre of shopping mall horror, along with Dawn of the Dead, Dawn of the Dead (2004), and Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Released in 1986, the film follows a group of horny teens trying to escape from a mall’s robot-security-force-gone-haywire.

The group, which includes innocent girl Alison and nerdy Ferdy (the poor man’s Rick Moranis), stayed in their local mall after hours to party and get laid. Unfortunately, the mall’s advanced security system – three armed and dangerous robots – has gone murderously haywire, thanks to a freak lightning storm. It isn’t long before the robots are cruising through the mall, picking the teens off one-by-one.

The film is ridiculous for many reasons. For example, once the teens realize they’re stuck in the mall (all of the high-tech doors are programmed to lock down after hours) and being chased by the robots, they spend a lot of time setting up explosive traps for their attackers. Why not use all the explosives you found to just bomb your way out of the mall?

The shopping mall looked familiar, specifically, it looked like the mall that Arnold Schwarzenegger briefly tears up in Commando. And indeed it is – Sherman Oaks Galleria in Los Angeles. Which leads me to ask – what the hell kind of stores existed back in the ‘80s? If you watch the film, you’ll notice all kinds of shops with odd names, such as “House of Almonds” and “Ch-baker.” Although a store that the fellas arm themselves in is called “Peckinpah’s” which is obviously just a nod to the filmmaker, so maybe a lot of the shops were just made up.

The robots – “Killbots” as they’re known by the filmmakers (Killbots was also the original title of the film, apparently) – while not as poorly designed as you’d think, are still pretty bad. They sort of resemble a mix of Johnny 5 and the Cylons from Battlestar Gallactica. They scurry about the mall on their treadmills, shooting the teenagers with all sorts of lasers (although one type basically looks like ectoplasm rather than a laser blast) and robotically droning “Thank you, and have a nice day,” after they’ve killed a victim.


What’s odd about the film is that the acting isn’t that bad. Alison is played by Kelli Maroney, a girl you might recognize from Night of the Comet, another cheesy ‘80s horror film. Nick pointed out that Alison eerily resembles a daughter of Marcy D'Arcy. A lot of the characters die in nasty ways – Leslie (Suzee Slater), the obligatory party girl of the group, gets her head blown off by one of the lasers. You’d think I’d include that video here, but that’d be too easy. Instead, feast your eyes on one of the goofier kills, when Rick (Russell Todd) valiantly plows into one of the robots with some type of mall cart. “Damn the torpedoes – ramming speed!”

One last notable aspect of the film is that it features more scenes of people (and robots) crashing through plate glass than I’d ever seen in my life. The robots crash through glass trying to get the teens, the teens crash through more glass to get away, etc. The title of this post comes from a scene at the end, when Alison just straight up covers her head with her arms and rams through a paint store’s glass wall  (ignore the commentary, although whoever made it sounds like they were having a good time). 

It’s like the filmmakers got tired of coming up with ways for people to break through glass and said “Fuck it, just have Kelly walk through it.”

So in conclusion, I award the film neither a good rating (open hatch) nor bad rating (closed hatch) because, while it may be really bad, it’s The Room bad. Also, I haven’t made a picture for a closed hatch rating. I’ll get to it.

Favorite Scene Friday: The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

I'm going to wrap up our first month of Favorite Scene Friday's with a subtle one from The Life Aquatic . . .  Far and away my favorite Wes Anderson film for many, many reasons, but this scene alone stands as the culmination of why I enjoy the film so much.  I was alone when I saw this movie for the first time and when this scene popped up, I laughed out loud.  So loud in fact that my cat took off from the couch faster than Clark Kent laying his seed.  Maybe it's because I find myself in similar situations more often than I like to admit . . . you know what I'm talking about, "You see those two squirrels humping in the tree over there?"  I see nothing but branches and leaves yet reply, "Oh yeah, sure."  That’s exactly what happens here; Steve points out something beautiful to his newfound son, Ned, and Ned tries so hard to impress his father and idol yet comes up short.  It’s terribly delightful to hear Bill Murray serenely retort that Owen Wilson, for lack of a better term, is an idiot who knows very little about the ocean and ultimately very little about the type of person Steve Zissou is.  Anyway, it’s a short scene which makes it that much sweeter so I hope you enjoy.

A Peek Through the Hatch: The Big Lebowski Cast Reunion Live on Facebook

This Tuesday, August 16^th, as part of Lebowski Fest New York, members of The Big Lebowski cast will reunite on stage for a Q&A. We hoped that there’d be a way to watch this for those that can’t attend and it turns out others must have as well, because they’ll be streaming the reunion live on the film’s Facebook page. It looks like the actual reunion event will be at 8:00 p.m. EST, preceded by an interview with Lebowski-inspiration Jeff “The Dude” Dowd at 6:30 p.m. Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, Steve Buscemi, Julianne Moore, John Turturro, and T Bone Burnett (what, no Tara Reid???) will all participate in the Q&A. You can check out all the details on the Lebowski Fest site here.

It shouldn’t be a secret that the EH Team likes Lebowski – we attended a late-night screening that Jacksonville’s 5 Points Theatre  held back in July, after writing about it here. We’ll be watching the event somewhere, probably at a private residence, so be cool like us and check it out.

Now Hear This! : Mom Where’s My Casio?

“I Get My Kicks Above the Waistline Sweetheart.”

Like the fashion world, the music industry is very good at playing the recycle game. Yes, leg warmers are still awful, but this time, regurgitation is actually a great thing for the lover of synthpop, because over the last six to seven years there's been a revival. With bands like, The Killers, The Postal Service, Phantogram, Owl City, Phoenix, The Bravery, MGMT, Passion Pit and newcomers Foster the People, synthpop is relevant once again.

So this resurgence got me thinking about the totally bitchin’ synthpop songs I grew up with and then that reminiscing of course forced me to compile a list of the most synthpoppiest songs ever. For all you newbies out there who think Foster the People invented this style, I’m going to go old school on your ass and for the synthpop veterans, I can only hope you fall back in love. To avoid a never ending list, I stopped at 50 and only allowed two per artist. They are in alphabetical order, but if you wanna know my #1, it’s “Der Kommisar”. If I left out a favorite, let me know. Enjoy and Happy Listening!

“Look of Love Part I” ABC
"Der Kommisar" After the Fire
"Take on Me" A-Ha
"Obsession" Animotion
"Eyes Without a Face" Billy Idol
"Heart of Glass" Blondie
"Video Killed the Radio Star" Buggles
"Sunglasses at Night" Corey Hart
"Just Died in Your Arms Tonight"Cutting Crew
"You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)"Dead or Alive
"Enjoy the Silence" Depeche Mode
"Personal Jesus" Depeche Mode
"Whip It" Devo
"Life in a Northern Town" The Dream Academy
"Rio" Duran Duran
"Save a Prayer" Duran Duran
"Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These)" Eurythmics
"Here Comes the Rain Again" Eurythmics
"Rock Me Amadeus" Falco
"Saved By Zero" The Fixx
"I Ran" A Flock of Seagulls
"Relax" Frankie Goes to Hollywood
"Cars" Gary Numan
"Things Can Only Get Better" Howard Jones
"Don’t You Want Me" Human League
"Too Shy" Kajagoogoo
"Kids in America" Kim Wilde
"Safety Dance" Men Without Hats
"I Melt With You" Modern English
"One Night In Bangkok" Murray Head
"(There’s) Always Something There to Remind Me" Naked Eyes
"Promises, Promises" Naked Eyes
"99 Luftballoons" Nena
"If You Leave" OMD
"West End Girls" Pet Shop Boys
"Don’t You (Forget About Me)" Simple Minds
"Alive and Kicking" Simple Minds
"Tainted Love/Where Did Your Love Go" Soft Cell
"True" Spandau Ballet
"Puttin’ On the Ritz" Taco
"Once in a Lifetime" Talking Heads
"Everybody Wants to Rule the World" Tears for Fears
"Head over Heels" Tears for Fears
"She Blinded Me With Science" Thomas Dolby
"Genius of Love" Tom Tom Club
"Turning Japanese" The Vapors
"Mexican Radio" Wall of Voodoo
"Everything She Wants" Wham!
"The Promise" When in Rome
"Situation" Yaz (Yazoo)

Escape by Starting a Monkey Uprising: Rise of the Planet of the Apes

*spoilers follow!*

In Rise of the Planet of the Apes (why isn’t it just Rise of the Apes?) James Franco is Will Rodman, a scientist who's tinkering with a virus-induced cure for Alzheimer’s, which he’s been testing on apes. One such ape, named Bright Eyes, shows a lot of promise, and Will and his team are set to feature her in a presentation to their company’s top brass.

Bright Eyes isn't just smart for an ape. The virus Will has designed has boosted her brain power and she's an ape genius. The virus is designed to repair damaged minds by rebuilding brain cells. This is all very personal for Will, as his father (John Lithgow) is suffering from Alzheimer's.

After Bright Eyes goes on a rampage in the lab and gets killed by security, however, Will’s boss Steven (David Oyelowo) orders ape handler Franklin (Tyler Labine),  to put all of the apes down as they’ve theoretically been contaminated by Bright Eyes. Franklin didn't have the heart to put down Bright Eyes' son, however (turns out that's why she went on a rampage – she was protecting her baby) and Will ends up taking him home. We soon learn that the little guy inherited his mother’s intelligence. Will names him Caesar, sets up a sweet monkey bedroom in the attic for him, and raises him for the next three years.

Will cures his dad with the virus treatment. Caesar likes his cool monkey bedroom, but spends a lot of time staring out the attic window at the humans below. More time passes. Caesar matures further but we the audience can tell that he yearns for more out of his life. Will has to keep him on a leash during trips to a redwood forest park. Caesar - through sign language - asks Will if he's a pet. Will takes Caesar to the lab and explains how they ended up together.

Eventually, despite Caesar’s ever increasing IQ, he ends up in a monkey “sanctuary” after defending Will’s dad from an angry neighbor. You see, the cure ended up losing its effectiveness for Lithgow and his Alzheimer’s returned, sending him wandering into the street and crashing said neighbor’s car. The monkey sanctuary is a harsh place and the handlers are cruel to Caesar. In a surprisingly sad scene, he draws an image of the attic window he used to stare out of everyday back home on one wall of his cage.

The conditions of the sanctuary and Will’s inability to bring Caesar home end up changing the ape – we soon see him rubbing out the window he drew, in a way erasing the connection he had to Will and his old life. The other apes are assholes to Caesar, but it isn’t long before he wins a few of them over, “infects” the entire group with the virus, and starts the titular uprising.

There are plenty of homages to the original Planet of the Apes. Caesar is seen building a model of the Statue of Liberty (which is kind of frustrating because that’s all the Lady Liberty action we get, and I really wanted to know what happens to the actual statue that leaves it destroyed on a beach in the original film). One of the apes in the sanctuary is named Cornelia (Roddy McDowall plays ape archeologist Cornelius in the original film). A character watches a clip of Charlton Heston. The “damn dirty ape” line makes an appearance (and there’s a little reversal of sorts in this scene which I found pretty cool).

An impressive aspect of the film is the special effects, namely motion capture actor extraordinaire Any Serkis' transformation into Caesar. However, I think the actor only portrayed the adult Caesar, as the monkey effects until that point are a little underwhelming. Once Caesar is fully grown, you can really see Serkis’ performance behind the character. This really isn't anything new for the actor, who's portrayed both Gollum and King Kong. The difference with this new film is that Serkis is already getting Oscar buzz (and he should get more respect – I just noticed that he’s listed 66^th on the cast list on the film’s IMDb page, right after a woman that played “KPIX News Anchor”. Sheesh).

There are many plot holes in the film’s narrative and other little things bothered me as well. Caesar seems to know an ape social “supplicating gesture,” which he doesn’t even display until well into the film. How does he know this gesture, if he was raised by humans? At a point in the film after Caesar starts the revolt, I saw his window symbol painted over a traffic sign. If Caesar rejected and erased it earlier, why would he draw it now as a symbol of the revolution? The biggest mystery to me was what was going on with the lost space shuttle that gets mentioned throughout the film, although someone pointed out it was Charlton Heston’s ship from the original. I thought we saw Heston on TV earlier in the film, so how does that work? Maybe that was supposed to be a news clip of Heston's character from the original film?

My biggest complaint about the film is that it uses that convenient technique of insisting that every human on Earth is an idiot. Some humans are idiots because they succumb to feelings of love or greed, but some are just plain stupid. Will pushed the boundaries of science and nature because he loved his father and wanted to cure him, and Jacobs behaved how he did because he was a greedy asshole.

Franklin may have been the most “just plain stupid” character in the film. Will tinkers with the virus after his father’s Alzheimer’s comes back, but the new version proves fatal to humans. Franklin contracts the virus after getting an accidental dose in the lab, wanders around infecting people, and then dies from it. He was too stupid to live. If you knew you were exposed to an experimental virus that made you sick, wouldn’t you go to the doctor and/or quarantine yourself?

After reading this review you may think that I don’t like the film, but that’s not the case. I liked the story more or less, and director Rupert Wyatt handled the mixture of action and characters fine enough. There’s already talk of a sequel and whether it’s necessary or not. I guess I wouldn’t mind seeing the continuing adventures of Caesar, or maybe catching up with James Franco to see how the human resistance is doing. And to find out what happens in New York!